Parents and Kids Behaving Badly ~ The Sports’ Authority Complex

To give you a perspective on where I am coming from: at the end of my illustrious figure skating career, I not only did some coaching, but I also became a judge. There were different levels of being a judge and you had to apprentice and be accurate to move up.  In figure skating, if you harassed a judge or yelled at a judge or had any inappropriate behavior, you were removed from the facilities. There were people who were banned from competitive events (yes… some coaches too). Because the head official was firm and had the support of the rinks, there were no shenanigans.

Unfortunately, in most other sports, there are rarely such firm guidelines. Parents yell at officials, and in turn their children do to. There is little sportsmanship. The idea becomes “we did not loose because we did not play as well as the other team, but we lost because we were screwed by the official.” In 99.9% of all cases, officials try their darnedest to do a good job. In some sports, there are things that are subjective. We know this. We do our best to be as objective as possible. Players become people… not friends or relatives and such.

I have started boycotting most “junior” type events. Most parents are behaving badly. And in turn, it goes out on the field. There is nothing more embarrassing then having  players yell at officials “look officials… did you see that violation… you need to do something.” Players should pay attention to themselves. Not what the other team is or is not doing.

And lastly… Kids/junior sports… is just that. It means nothing in the end. We have these people who prop up high school sports or this and that. When in the end, it is not the pros, it will not lead to the Olympics, ect. I don’t give a rat’s ass because it really means nothing. Kids/junior sports are supposed to prepare young folks for the real deal. Well if that is being surly, pompous, argumentative, and harassing judges, I suggest we get rid of all kid competitions. They can just start out at the adult levels and get their asses kicked. This includes high school. Take the sports out of the high schools. Make them all city/social sports and not associated with the schools. No trophies awarded for winners. Make it the love of sport and not a pissing match between kids and the parents taking sides.

That will never happen so I have come up with a few rules that will alleviate people from behaving badly at kids sports:

1). No parents or relatives are allowed to coach the same “team” as their child or relative.

2). If anyone approaches an official to talk or yell or whatever, that person is banned from the rest of the game/event. If it happens a second time later on, that person is banned from all further games/events.

3). The team captain is the only player allowed to talk with an official. If someone other than the captain talks with an official, that player is ejected from the game. If the captain argues with an official, that person is ejected from the game.

4). For each sport, there will be an official process for grievances. Only the coach or the team captain can file grievances.

5). If there is any any aggressive behavior by spectators (heckling, fights) then all spectators will be ejected from the game.

I would like these rules to apply to all sports levels, but one fight and trying to clear out 70,000 people from huskie stadium is crazy. But most high school sports only have a couple thousand at the most. All you need is a couple times where the rules are broken and its  amazing how people will stop behaving badly.

In the end… parents… juniors…. it is just a game. Focus on you and not others. Stop the pettiness.

It Is Only A Breast!!

I never thought I would ever have the phrase “Titty Milk” in my vocabulary. Even with my sheltered childhood, a breast for the use of distributing milk to a baby was nothing. But I have come to find in some recent events/situations that people are still unfortunately as Puritan as the failed tightwads were in the 1500’s.

Every so many months, there is some news article about someone having a cow (ha ha get it) about a woman breast feeding in public. Get over yourself. You get to see a lady topless. When do you ever get to see that. And normally it is not so crass. Ohhhh. You maybe see part of a boob. Wow. I can see more at the park by my house during the summer. Who cares. We were all born naked.

Work. I do a children’s book unit with my creative writing I class. I have a stash of children’s books for the students to look through. One book was about a new baby in the family. There is a picture depicting breast feeding. These seniors started freaking out. There was nothing suggestive about this illustration. It is for like a 4 year old getting used to the idea of a new brother or sister and what will happen. Arghhhhh!

And Christmas. An unfortunate accident where breast milk was spilled from a bottle onto someone. And so hence… the phrase… Eewww I got Titty Milk all over me. Ewww Ewww Ewww. I have had much worse on me from a baby. This milk had not even been digested in the baby. Fresh milk. Just from a mom not a cow. Give me a break.

So now… I must take action. A call to arms! Breast feeding people unite (and those of us who support you, but don’t breast feed because we will be single the rest of our lives). Besides bringing together these women in protest… I will write a book defending the Breast Milk Cause:

1001 Uses of Titty Milk: Good Cheese comes from Happy Moms. Happy Moms come from Mukilteo.

Ok. Maybe not… but I like the melodramatic tone of parts of this blog.

It is someone breast feeding… get over it!

PLEASE!!! Wait to be Seated!! Or how people are just plain rude

During the winter holiday, I have frequented on of my favorite bars and grills in Seattle: The Delux. Since 1962 baby.

I love to people watch. Since I do most things by myself… it is one way to pass the time when you would normally have conversation. That and crosswords. I am horrible at them, but am trying to get better.

I digress. The Please Wait to Be Seated sign. It should be the first thing you look for when you walk into an establishment. I have noticed that most people ignore it. Completely and rudely. I even watched the other day a man tell his wife, “Hang on honey, we need to wait here.” She responded, “Screw it. I will sit where I want to.” Very interesting!

The only thing I can think of is these responses are just because society has become one selfish lot. Me Me Me and fast, fast, fast. If you want to sit anywhere and you want your meal quickly… kill yourself on McDonalds. If you do not want to look like beastly savages, learn the protocol for a sit down place.

Early in the break I went to a Mexican place that I had not tried before. This was nothing fancy. It was lunch. The buffet cost like 5.99. We are not talking Canlis. This women got upset that she could not get a bloody Mary. She complained about this and that. He water wasn’t filled enough, the buffet did not look sanitary (even though she bought a dish and boyfriend did buffet). Oh please. These people are working for minimum wage. For a 5.99 lunch it was great. If I paid $30, I might be disappointed. People can be so rude.

So… moral. Stop being dumb asses when you eat out people. Be nice to your servers and tip well.

Stop the Insanity ~ Obama Swims Shirtless!!!!

I am a little flabbergasted at the notion that there is something wrong with man swimming in swim trunks and no shirt. Isn’t that how most men swim in the USA?

The newest media sensation is Barack Obama (prez-elect ~ Insert huge gasp) was swimming during his last vacation before his life is truly turned upside down in only swim trunks! AHHHHHHHHH…. Not.

Give me a break people. Just because he is going to be president does not mean he can’t swim in only swim trunks. I fail to see the sensationalism in this. Maybe if it were a speedo he was in (have you seen the Arnold S pics ~ Ewww), but from what I can see, he looks like a normal dude swimming on vacation.

It is too bad the media (and lets face it the audience) can not focus on something with a little more substance. Bigot Warrens as a speaker (he is not only against gays, but women too). How about the potential impeding depression we could find ourselves in.

A dude in swim trunks is not titalating or sensational to me. Give me Obama naked and then I might be in a titter. But until then, i will focus my energy on bigger and better things like world peace.

Moron ~ Stop Walking in the Middle of the Road!

Seattle is in a deep freeze. Probably most of the country is laughing at us. Boo hoo eight inches of snow. What people fail to realize is that if Seattle sees an inch, it is a miracle. Eight is pretty freaky. Also, we do not have a ton of snow plows, we have huge hills that are hard to plow, and because we rarely see snow, the city pretty much shuts down.

And today… Sunday… it is now snowing hard again. We have had enough snow to last for many many years. Ug.

But the main post today is about Idiots. Walking Idiots.

Since the snow fall last week, I have seen this phenomenon where people will just walk in the middle of the road. With ice and snow and everything. They will not move for cars driving in the road. What the fuck!!??

I had to move my car the other day (72 hour rule in Seattle and my apartment only has 10 spots ~none for me). I had to honk at the person to stop walking in the middle of the road. He glared at me. Just walking back from half price books there was this lady walking in the middle of the road. And my examples could go on and on from this week. These people were not crossing the street, but just walking down the middle.

That is cause for potential disaster. Just because we have several inches of snow does not somehow mean you should walk in the middle of the road. This makes no sense. Am I missing something?

It is hard enough to drive in Seattle with compact snow and ice. Do the car drivers a favor pedestrians. Keep walking on the sidewalks. Otherwise do not whine if I run you over!

Duggar Vs. Kennedy ~ where’s the blame!?

Today, there are two women being highlighted in the news. Caroline Kennedy because she wants to take over Clinton’s senate seat and Michelle Duggar because she just had her 18th child.

I find these two diametrically opposed women’s presentations fascinating . Kennedy was born into a rich, famous, and political family led by males. Duggar is religious and keeps popping out kids.

Kennedy is being criticized because she has not voted in many elections. Ok. I am not sure why and I think that is not a good thing, but the fact of the matter is, many people have not ever voted. They see it as their right. I am not sure how not voting in some elections makes her unqualified to have a senate seat. But lots of people are saying she is not qualified. Heck, she only lead the team that helped pick Obama’s vice prez. She has only been working all these years, but never has had a job in quite the limelight as her dad and brother.

My take is people are still abhorred that a women would want to do what the USA had ruled as Men’s work. It is uncool to say it though. And instead, people grasp at straws and make excuses.

On the other hand, the news media is rejoicing today over the Duggar family. 18 kids and counting. I am saying counting because these religious nutjobs believe in the “Quiver” movement. Which means that women’s main role is to pop out children. That is all we are good for.

No one (but me probably) is questioning whether this family should have the mom and dad medically evaluated. No one is questioning their murky way they make a living and support themselves. Hell, TLC has helped fund the mansion they now live in.

TLC… you can come and video me and record my life if you pay off my student loans!

Not only is having 18 kids not good for a body, how is it good for a family? The buddy system? I was resentful growing up when I was 10 and had to care for my 5 year old brother and 1 month year old sister. Playing grown up is fun, but actually having to be a grown up when you are a child sucks.

But I start to digress. So an educated professional women who has proven herself is getting raked over the coals. An ignorant, stupid, uneducated women is being praised for making the most unintelligent decisions ever!

Tell me where our society has gone wrong!?

Seattle Public School Closures ~ or the case where parents have a hairs up their butts!

Every since John Stanford died, Seattle Public Schools have become a mockery.

Actually… I should say the parents and the school board have become the mockery.

In Seattle, there is the unfortunate case where rich parents make the sad choice to put their children in private schools and be extremely elitist. Who can blame them. Private schools do not fall under No Child Left Behind requirements, they have no state mandates, and a private school can practically kick any student out for any reason. Public schools are not allowed to do this.

The other problem that Seattle faces is a growing single population. Families are moving. Or in reality the people who want to families can not afford to buy in Seattle and do not want to live in crappy town-homes or condos with children. So the student population takes another hit. Seattle is no Sleepless… it is becoming Childless in Seattle. Most married couples here have made the choice not to have kids because they are so expensive (and good for them!).

The most reasonable solution to this problem is to condense schools. When a school is meant to hold 500 elementary students, it is not economical to have only 100-200 students. If a school is a dump and there is room to consolidate, it should be done.

But what has happened is that there are uptight parents who do not want to face the facts. They want to have smaller classes sizes and bla bla bla, but they are not willing to close down the school they like. So they bully the school board and the school board allows to be bullied for some reason and so all the schools remain open and money is wasted. Funneled away to heating and support staffing like custodians and such. It is a shame.

I am not a complete expert on all the school buildings in Seattle, but I can tell you a couple things:

Rainier Beach: The school is a dump. I should say the classrooms are a dump. It has a nice sports facility, but no one has bothered to update the classrooms. Rats run rampid at anything they can eat. I taught summer school there a few years ago. The building is a dump. Students are great. Classrooms a dump. They have recently remodeled Cleveland High School. Consolidate the schools. Change the name so it becomes a new school.

Too many Elementary schools: Schools with only 100-200 that were made for like 400-500 are so wasteful it makes my head spin. I love the Lowell school. It is 3 blocks from my home. It has a folksy feel to it, but if it can not get the numbers, close it.

Middle schools: Most have bad raps. Middle schools are poor choices anyway. I would suggest elementary schools become K-8 and then you have 9-12 high schools. Middle Schools/Junior Highs  are feeding grounds for naughty behavior. When you consolidate raging hormonal students all at one school, there is bound to be trouble. And most middle schools in Seattle are located at the neither regions of the district. Bleck.

And I can go on and on and on. In a nut shell, there are not enough students to keep all the buildings sustainably open. So schools must be closed. But selfish lame ass parents are fighting this, but then go back and vote no on the school levy. They bitch and complain about this and that with schools when money is being sucked away because their prized dump of a school always remains open. Get over yourselves. Put your home made card board signs away and let the school board do its job.

School Board. stand strong. Let these bullies yell and scream. The worse they can do is take their children to private school. Let them. You do what is good for the district and teaching and learning. When those parents get masters in education and PHD’s in administration, then they can tell you what to do. Until then, they are just being selfish whiners.

The Negative Impact of Adam Walsh Case and America’s Most Wanted

To Preface and make things clear. I am very happy to see changes in how we deal with missing persons and children around the United States. I think John Walsh’s activism in this arena should be commended.

But now the dark side…

When I was growing up, John Walsh was like a crazy, in a not so good way, uncle. We saw him each week in the form of America’s Most Wanted. This was not a good thing. Among a myriad of things, the Adam Walsh case was one of the many little incidents that turned my biological mother into a maniacal person who obsessed with murders, rapists, and boogie men. Around every corner a bad person was there to hurt you. You always had to be on the guard. And each week, no matter if a repeat or not, we had to watch America’s Most Wanted so we knew who the bad people were who were trying to get us, and hopefully we would recognize them and get them caught!

At the moment, you may be chuckling to yourself. Usually this is the response when I tell someone this information, but let me now paint a picture of what this is like for someone growing up.

During the first 18 years of my life, I went to two birthday parties. One when I was in Kindergarten. His name was Andy and somehow my mother knew his mom (I am still amazed about how this came to be). Everything seemed great but, we were late getting back from Chunky Cheese and I was told I was never to be allowed to go on a party again. You see, at first, my mother insisted she attend for my safety, but Andy’s mom insisted it would be ok and that my mom should stay home with her new born son. But because we were late, how was she supposed to know that we were not in a car accident or a bad person had not taken me!!??!!

She was almost correct with her decree. In the 6th grade, I was allowed to go to Stephanie’s birthday party. This was because her mom was a substitute teacher at my school and it was to only be at her house. That was a disaster too because Stephanie’s mom at one point sent us out to play and because I was not in the house when my mom showed up, I was forever banned from birthday parties. I was punished and yelled at for hours because I did not stay in her house. I was foolishly not thinking about the perverts and murders who target birthday parties just to nab a child to rap or kill!!!! Stephanie’s mom was labeled as a bad parent because she did not supervise and left us in harms way.

And that is just the tip of the ice berg. As a child and young adult, you could never go to the bathroom by yourself. Bathrooms were a perfect spot for bad people to get you. I felt sorry for my poor brother because there is nothing like being 12 years old and forced into a women’s bathroom. Even if he did not have to go, we all had to go into the bathroom together because bad people wait outside bathrooms to grab children. If you were taking to long in a stall, you would get yelled at if you were ok.If my mom was taking a while and we were waiting for her, she would yell at us to communicate with her to make sure we were still there.

I said that I went to two birthday parties for my first 18 years. And I mean that was it. I was never authorized to go to a friend’s house to play. My friend’s parents were probably perverts wanting to hurt me. Friends could never come over because they could be hoodlums trying to spy on us and rob our house when we were not home. No sleep overs. For goodness sake… that was prime pervert targeting. I remember the time I showed my mom the sleep over invite. She yelled at me for not remembering the episode of America’s Most Wanted where the girl was raped and killed by a dad who held a sleep over for his daughter just to hurt a child. I learned never to show invites to my mother because of her America’s Most Wanted rants.

So I had books, figure skating, and school as places of refuge. While my friends were going to the roller rink, movies, and eventually dates, I had to stay home and watch America’s Most Wanted. The boogie man was behind every corner. No body was your friend, they were only trying to hurt you.

This has continued into my adulthood. If I do not call my mother about once every 1-2 weeks, I get frantic phone messages asking if I have been killed. She will call and leave random messages about how I should not go to Canada because they just had a murder there. Once when I was at the QFC in Northgate with my old roommates, she yelled at me to be careful because that was a dangerous grocery store. Last year, it was phone calls to move home because teachers were being targeted in Seattle. Bla bla bla.

I blame this on America’s Most Wanted. Go and watch the show. It sensationalizes the crimes. The reenactments are meant to scare. The whole show sets you up to think that walking out your front door will trigger some alarm for an evil person to come and get you. I have no problem with having a forum for presenting information about bad people who do bad things. I have issue with the way America’s Most Wanted does it. Preying on peoples inner most fears is not rational or safe. And it ends up harming people in the long run.

With that said…. I do not believe people should throw caution to the wind. People need to use common sense and good judgement when it comes to safety. BUT…. in the end… bad things happen to ALL PEOPLE. Yes… all people. What that bad stuff is varies and is not predictable. But in life, bad things will happen to you at some point or another. I think once people realize this, maybe they can start living their lives instead of hiding from unknown evils that could get you.

So John Walsh… I am sorry for your terrible loss, but I hate you. Your loss became mine. I lost my childhood for no other reason than a non descript boogie man was going to get me. Shame on you.

Response to Seattle Times Supporting Education Cuts

While this letter will probably never be printed because of its length and support of educational funding… it is a good one!

Washington State’s constitution specifically outlines its paramount duty is to fund public education. With the knowledge that voters overwhelmingly passed I-732 and I-728, it is extremely disconcerting that the Seattle Times would propose that we cut teacher pay and increase class size. How many times to we need to list the cold hard facts: Washington State is 47^th in the nation for class sizes, teacher pay is the lowest on the West Coast and far below the national average, and over the years many research reports and think tanks (that include various conservative and democratic persons) have said smaller classes and higher teacher salaries improve the quality of education. The answer is quite simple. Even in hard and good economic times, we need to be working on improving teaching and learning in our state, and the base line is class size and teacher pay.

As a teacher gains experience, just like a doctor or lawyer, he/she is also learning. Problems or challenges become easier to anticipate. There are more tools in his/her tool belt to assess learning and re-teach, modify, or increase instruction in particular skill sets. And then, this information can be passed to newer colleagues entering the field. What is happening in education is a type of brain drain. Because of the high stress, huge workload, and extremely low pay, teachers leave their field, their passion, to keep their families functioning. It is easy to criticize teachers and believe the myth that they are greedy and lazy.  But there are few other professional and governmental jobs where pay is not guaranteed and work load continually increases without compensation. Even with a Masters degree, and at the top of the best school district pay scale, it barely comes close to the average wage a person out of college with a Masters degree earns. Because we have a system that encourages a revolving door type scenario, stability is lost. Knowledge is lost.

People also criticize the public school system for students who fall through the cracks. There is always this wonderment of why someone could not learn to read by the time he/she gets to high school. The basic answer is quite simple. The larger the crowd, the easier it is to hide. When education is cut, supplementary services are cut. Even when learning issues are discovered, there could be very few options or tools available to the students, parents, and teachers. When class sizes are smaller, it is easier to identify learning issues, and have the time to individually address the situation. Behaviors or attendance issues are dealt with at a faster rate. There is more time for a teacher to communicate with parents. There is no where for a student to hide.

Everyone wants to keep his piece of the pie when cuts have to be made. It is the people and lawmakers to make these decisions. Budget items need to be prioritized. Washington State started this list a long time ago. The citizens and lawmakers understood the necessity of having a well educated population. So they put it in the State constitution: it is our paramount duty to fund public education. In the last few years, there has been some movement forward. We need to remain firm in our beliefs and not try and solve the budget problem with what seems to be a quick and easy fix. Education money needs to remain and continually be increased, even in hard economic times.

Protected: What Ever Happened to Honor, Obligation, and Not Being Selfish

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password: