There Can Only Be One!

This last weekend we saw the Larway team lose in the semifinal game of the USA Curling Nationals. While most consider third place a pretty good acomplishment, I have a feeling that they are not too satisfied with these results. It was the same as last year. There is also the outside pressures that say that if you can not improve, you are not doing what you need to do. I think this team has grown signficantly and should be commended for their hard work.

What really sucks is when we talk about most national and worlds competitions, there can only be one from a nation. There can never be two or three representing a country. Now that makes sense because of the time it takes if you have too many competitors or teams. But it almost seems like with figure skating and curling that you could have second chance competitions for the worlds. The top 3 other teams could compete and the top two of those get to go. It would make the fields more diverse and exciting.

I remember how crushed Roslyn Sumners was when she got the silver at the Olympics losing by 1 tenth of a point. Practically on the verge of suicide. Why should a competitor feel this much pressure and this much disappointment when he/she has achieved a great feat? It just sucks. Luckily, I feel that I have learned that while winning should be the ultimate goal and it is truly great to win, sometimes there is something more than winning and you do not have to live by the creed that winning is everything!

The Jane Austen Effect

As an English teacher, I have many students who take on the task of reading Jane Austen for outside reading or author research assignments. She is one of my favorite authors too. I rarely do much research on authors that I like because I like reading them so much. But I do know a little tid bit or two about Jane.

Earlier this year, I was in a not-so-great mood and my long time college friend Brittany called me up and asked if I wanted to go the Harvard Exit Theater and attend “Jane Austen’s Book Club.” I said yes and it was quite a delightful. A real pick me up!

The last couple of months have been really difficult for me. Work has been tough and I have been sick so my exercise and yoga has been minimized and I have had to miss work and curling to rest. It has truly been unpleasant. Usually on Thursday nights, Brittany and I will partake in an evening of watching Ugly Betty and Gray’s Anatomy. With the writer’s strike, we have been forced to have other types of entertainment. But we have both been sick or busy and have usually canceled out. 

Tonight we got together and watched the movie “Becoming Jane.” Now… another excellent film, but not a happy film. If you all know something about Jane Austen, you will know she never married and died at a pretty young age. This story stays true to this story line and and just tugs at your heart strings. 

Her life hits very close to home. For here I am, writing a silly blog to get ideas down and to practice writing. How I would love to have an exquisite novel one day and be published. But in some ways, I feel like I am walking down Jane’s path and I am very frightened for what that may mean.

While truly very little is known about Jane’s life… I think I know mine quite well. An ambitious young lady works very hard to get degrees to move ahead in social and economic society. In her college days (prime time to fall in love and get married) she was too busy working to support herself and besides, she thought she had found a companion to live out the rest of her days. Well live out the rest of his days because he was much older than her and would probably die before she did. Too soon did the harsh reality of life barge into the itinerary this lady was establishing. And now she sits in her last year of her twenties very much alone.

This lady had not given up on love; she attempted to start over with a couple of other interested gents, but they turned out to either not understand her, think of her as too independent and strong willed, or lacked the confidence to stay committed to her. But she was always reassured by them and others that there was someone for her. But can they be so sure?

And that folks, is the dilemma I see myself in. My life is not unhappy, but there seems to be something missing. It is not the maternal instinct for a baby or a wanting of a pet. But someone to come home to at night and discuss the day… or not. A companion that you share a common foundation with. To be each others rock when everything else is going crazy. I wonder even with my false engagement if I have ever really experienced this at all. It seems foreign and mysterious to me. 

So whoever said that, “it was better to have loved and lost, then to have ever loved at all” is smoking crack because I could live with myself and live out my days quite content, I believe, without that special male companion. But I have tasted what love is….even if it was not true love and it is the worst possible thing with a plausible reality that you will never be able to experience even a piece of that again. I think I would have rather stayed ignorant. 

I do not know if I have the tenacity or the strength to have all my stories have happy endings. Here is a toast to you Jane! 

I will sign out this evening with one of my most cherished movie quotes:

“I knew a lady very like your sister - the same impulsive sweetness of temper - who was forced into, as you put it, a better acquaintance with the world. The result was only ruination and despair. Do not desire it, Miss Dashwood.” ~ Colonel Brandon

Sense and Sensibility ~ 1995

Larway’s Winning Streak Continues

Ever since my siblings started ice skating with me, I have always felt more nervous for them when they have been competing versus when I am. Now that is not to say I do not have the jitters now and again, my anxiety rises when I watch or listen or pseudo internet others. Such is the case for my friends. Last weekend it was when the last Seattle team was playing a win or out game. 

And so it also has been with my backseat ride following the Scotties and US curling nationals. Two teams from Seattle are in the mix and I am happy to report tonight that they are both in the Page Playoffs. Unfortunately, only one team can go on. That is right…. tomorrow morning one Seattle Team will be 4th place and another will play the loser of the 1 and 2 teams. And not that I have a dislike for either team, but I have to throw in my towel for one team and that would have to be the Larway team for me for a variety of reasons that I am not going to get into. Let’s hope this winning streak can continue and we see Larway win the whole event and represent the USA in Worlds! 

Be Kind to Your Friends

Many times when I write, it is usually because someone or something has pissed me off to no end. The clicking of the keyboard takes me back to a simpler time in college when besides paying tuition and my dorm room, the most I had to worry about was getting that paper done on time. I am quite a fast typer when given the time and I think my body loves the movement of my fingers and my brain loves the sound of the clicky clack my nails make when gliding over the old school naturals keyboard that I have. It is one of the original Microsoft  typing consoles.

But I digress. Today I have a different means of typing. That is the comradeship of friends. Now friends can come and go. Good departures and not so good. But when you think about it, when you have a friend that is a really good friend (at that moment in time) it is a wonderful thing. Especially when they are old friends.

One of my friends I knew from almost the start of my first working career  at a museum I have known for over ten years now. Wow! There was a time when we were closer than close. Heck, I was renting a room from her and her husband in their house. But now we are not so close. They do not have that house anymore (they had to move home). We live a good 30 or so minutes away. She has another child on the way. But the companionship we have had over the years I do not think will go away.

I got several calls from her this weekend when I was in Canada curling. I usually do not make any calls because it costs money for me to call the states in Canada. Not too much, but I am trying to keep costs low. I got really worried with the 4th call and a phone message. Luckily, nothing was wrong. The good news when I got to talk with her yesterday was that she a funny story about the museum because she is working there part time again. The fact she thought to call me and share was very heart warming. 

My teaching partner retired this year. But she has stayed in touch with me. We do many fun outings like Dim Sum and thrift store shopping. That is what we did yesterday because I had a day off of work. It was so much fun and it was so good to laugh, even about really silly things. Sometimes you can forget about how to really laugh. Not sarcastic laugh, or work stress laughing, but just hearty feel good laughing with out cares in the world. 

And lastly, my very good friends Alyssa and John. It is quite a funny story on how we met up. I used to be John’s Dad’s boss. David one day asked me about the funny rock thing I did on ice and said his son and daughter in law were starting. It was at my club! We hit off as friends right from the beginning. Alyssa and John had been gone over a week to Sweden.

I had forgotten how much Alyssa and I do together now. We curl, and go to aerobics, and shop on Saturdays together at the U District Farmer’s Market. It was so good to hear her message when I got back into the states on Sunday saying how they had made it home and wanting a curling nationals update. There was no need for her to call. But it was a nice thing to do.

I do not know how long these relationships will last, but I am glad I am having them. Not all things can last forever, but we can take time to step back and recognize when it is good (especially in the now and not in the past). Too often it is easy to negate what we have until it is over and you have to reflect in sadness on what is lost. I say sit back every now and again and recognize what is good…. Right Now. It may make your day! 

The Curse of the Biological Family

There are very few people who know me well that know of my family situation. Many people think that my family is far far away and I am just on my own. Actually, my biological mother and father live pretty close to me… about an hour or so away. I call them my biological mother and father because that is really all they are to me. They created me, but that is about it. Nothing else in common on principle, beliefs, creeds, or ethics.

Now… to get the facts straight… these two people did the best they could with as little education and money they had. They did the best they knew how. But that does not mean that they were stable and brought up their children to be people of the world. It is very difficult to do or know anything else when you are a back water hick with no skills. 

I am not going to go on about all the crazy situations, rules, actions, ideas they had and still have today. That time and place is many many more blogs down the line. Tonight is about how I can not seem to cut the cord and I wish I could. 

Like I said…. I give my parents credit for trying to raise us the best they could. I do not want to hurt them, but I do have standards to uphold. I started to treat my father like a little child after he went crazy Christian. If he spouted off hate or how women were evil or homosexuals were bad, or something else that is just stupid, I would tell him that if he did not stop, I would leave. And there were many times when I did. He learned that if he wanted to have dinner with me, then he would not do that. I know he has not changed his beliefs, but at least I am not hearing his hate. 

I am going to have to start to do this with my mother. This is more difficult. She is obsessed with killers, murders, rapists, vandals, and bad people of all sorts. The only safe place is living with her. So to be polite, I call her once a week or so and check in. Otherwise, she will call non stop wondering if I am dead. 

Tonight was the straw that broke the camels back. Too long to get into, but she started talking about how bad homosexuals were and this and that. And even to the point where black people were slaves for a reason. I had told her once if she did not stop talking about these lies, I would hang up on her. She would not stop so I told her, “I asked to you stop talking in this hateful way and you will not. I am hanging up.” And I did. 

But now what to do? This woman claims she is Democrat and is not conservative and this and that, but I have found since the boyfriend I had that was black and the good college friend I had turned out to be gay, that she is very sexist, racist, and believes all the general stereotypes. I really do not want to talk with her ever again. But I do not want to break her heart. My brother and sister are really doing that at the moment. I think I will have to find another strategy. But this sounds silly:

“Hi mom! Leaving a message to say that I am ok. I hope you are not having hateful thoughts about people.”

“Just calling to check and and hope you do not think Lisa [my brother's finance mother of his child] is not a full human being. She has the same intelligence as you and me.”

 But I will not have her expressing these things and think I will listen. It is bad enough she speaks bad about where I live and where I go. I will not have her generalize people around me like that.

So be thankful if you have family that seems to work. No family is perfect, but some are better than others. Only but up with what you can take. Holidays are not mandatory, but be prepared for sitting home alone. Maybe not getting presents ever again (if you ever got them ~me I never got any) and maybe even have to support yourself. I want to slap the college student who does not want to use his/her parents college money the way the parents want to, but whine when he/she does not want to support oneself.

A toast to the families that take vagabonds like me into their homes every holiday and make me feel like part of the family. Many times I have been like the zoo animal on display and weird, but there are people out there that take care of the people who truly have no one!

A Little Known National Event

Last summer, I was attending a birthday party and ESPN was on the TV. What was amazing was how it was ESPN 2 and what little sport was being broadcasted. I do not consider the National Championship of Rock, Paper, Scissors to be anything that special or sport like. Here were people acting silly and trying to look like boxers and challenging each other. Commentators were discussing strategy. Really folks… there is not much strategy involved with Rock, Paper, Scissors.

What does have a lot of strategy, skill, and athleticism, with a little luck is curling. This weekend started the womens and mens USA National Championship. Being close to the Seattle area, I am happy to report that 2 of the mens teams are from Seattle, but sad to say there is not a women’s team. But is there any coverage what so ever with this curling event? No. Not even curltv is doing anything. They are showing The Scott’s Tournament of Hearts which is Canada’s women’s curling championship. But they could cover two events at once if they really had wanted to. All I can see are up to date line scores. Boo! 

I know there has to be a better curling following than rock, paper, scissors. There just has to be. Right!? Maybe I am wrong, but I do know a ton of Mid West people are into the sport. I would think that Canada would be into the USA nationals too since the winners will compete with them at the World Championship. I was at a mixed spiel this weekend and many of the Canadians I talked to did not even know that our nationals was starting. Then they were curious about what TV station. I was not happy to report to them none. ug. 

Maybe our sports channels should rethink what they broadcast. Is it really a sport? Or at least an athletic event. I won’t get into the argument that some athletics are not sports (the figure skating and gymnastics theory), but at least something that involves something more that moving your hand up and down!! 

So Much for that nice evening ~ also known as “Oh Those Sports”

I have been quite sick over the last few days. Today has been the first day I think I am starting to feel better. Since it today was that retched holiday of Valentines Day, I thought I would celebrate in style…. all by myself!

I was going to sit back, relax at my computer, have some Skinny Cow ice cream paddies at hand, and …. NO! not watch porn, but watch the Martin Vs. Ferby match on Curltv!! :-) 

Foiled again by Murphy’s Law. I have tried and tried as I might, but the site is completely shut down. Even now at 10pm Seattle time. So it was back to some good ole NPR news and card games on the computer. 

This would never happen with football, or baseball, or even basketball. But yes, I enjoy “one of those” sports which the states have a hard time recognizing. Heck, we can not even get any good soccer coverage here. 

So even by myself, I can not have a decent Valentines Day. Ug. what a waste. I know I can go back later and watch the game from the game vault section, but I leave tomorrow for a curling spiel and it will be awhile before I am home. I have a dream that one of these days, curling will be popular enough so the site will not crash when people want to watch a game! 

In Sickness and in Health

It used to be when you were sick, people used to care.

“Hey do you need anything?”

“Do you need a ride to the doctor?”

” Can I offer you some chicken soup?”

This is never asked anymore. It seems that the current mentality is that people think you have allergies and when you do not, they cross their pointer fingers and say, “Back Back! Do not get me sick!”

Yes! That is just what I was about to do… Jump on your back and lick your face. Normally I am of the mind set that people should stay away when they are sick. Take sick leave. Do not go to your sports or hobbies. But that does not work in American society.

First, A lot of people do not have sick leave. Since there is no middle class anymore, they are part of the working class and working poor. I remember those days. Secondly, there are just jobs that you can not sometimes take a sick day. Doctors, Teachers, Lawyers… these jobs all have their problems that come with trying to take days off. If I am going to drive into work to get substitute plans together, why don’t I just stay. And do not call me a bad teacher! Anyone experienced has all their files in their file folders and they know where their stuff is, it is just a matter of how to get a sub to find that. They can’t and won’t.

Sports. That is always a hot bed of contention. As a figure skater… you practiced even on your death bed. It built endurance and character. And if that was not convincing enough for your parents, these responses would convince them:

“In the Olympics, an athlete has to compete without any medications because of doping rules.”

“Any time off will make the muscles loose strength and then he/she will not be able to jump as high or have as much control over his/her figures.”

[mostly for girls] “Any time off means weight gain and no one wants to see a fat figure skater!”

Now, the same is not necessarily true for many sports, but when you have spent over 10 years competitive in one that is like that, it is hard to let up with your newer sport. So while I was on the mend yesterday, I had to play league last night. Besides, I am competing this weekend and I am the most experienced on my team. I needed the practice! Such is the life of an old school, has been figure skater! 

So be nice to the sick ones. We would love to lounge around in bed day after day, but sometimes that just does not happen. This is the first time since I left home and ditched those weirdos goodbye that I have ever been able to lounge around for three days. I have gotten better a lot faster then I have had before, but I know come Tuesday that I will have double the work to do and tons to clean up after. No matter how good your sub, there are very few occasions where you do not have fires to put out! 

Stupid V day

This is most recent from my old blog:

Ok…. now my rant. Valentines Day. UG. Now… maybe I am bitter because I have never had a sweetie that has been into Valentines Day or what is more likely, I never have a sweetie when Valentines Day rolls around. But lets face it folks…. If people but 1/4 of the time they put into Valentines Day year round, we would have less divorce and sadness all around. Umph! So there.

When I am King of the World (yes King! when this happens boys have to be the Queens) if there are still enough people who want the good old V day… that is fine. BUT there will have to be Singles day too. So all the married and attach folk have to find a single person like me and shower me with gifts!!! It would be great!

See…. What people fail to realize is the situation of a lot of single folk. Take me for example. I have no real family, my brother and sister are so much younger than me they are wrapped up with themselves, and I have no boyfriend. So… there are no awesome gifts for birthdays, christmas, or valentines day.

A great example from a month or so ago. I need new curling shoes. I have had mine for over 6 years. They have lasted me for more than their lifes worth. But now they are falling apart. Some at the curling club heard me talking about them and how it will be a huge chunk of money I do not have. Like $300. So this person said, “Why did you not ask for a new pair for Christmas?”

Who am I going to ask!? Really!? I know that question can sound snarky, but I have no one to ask. No one appropriate that is. If I want or need something, I have to buy it. There are no surprises for me. No flowers will come tomorrow, no nice letters of love or friendship. I can see why there are some people that will choose a mate just for the sake of it. Even if they are sucky, at least there is a societal expectation to give a gift now and again.

So tomorrow… as you are buying your chocolate, receiving your stupid flowers, eating that romatic dinner… I hope you think of us perpetual single people out there. sitting at home watching curling on curltv and watering our peace lilies. I stick my tongue out at you!

Hello world!

Hello Everyone! Welcome to my blog. The one that I have currently has a lot of people I know well and personally and boy does that cramp your style sometimes! Also, the site I was using was having quite a few errors and that really sucked. So here it is! brand spankn’ new and raring to go.