I am usually the last person you will hear who will criticize someone who is dedicated in stopping bully and bigotry. For goodness sack, I am the Gay/Straight Alliance Advisor for my work and actually have gotten death threats before! Actually, the only group I am against at the moment is Rachel’s Challenge because they are using the Columbine tragedy as their mask for crazy Christian views.
But I also have a question for Tina Meier. If you really want change with cyber bullying, why are you not admitting to your parenting mistakes and target parents rather than children about internet use?
See… here is what I do not get. This mother let her mentally disturbed daughter play on the internet by herself? Ok… maybe not completely disturbed, but the young teen was on medication for depression and had a history of this!! Oh… this girl’s father too. Let us not forget. This is not only the fault of the mother!!
You see people… If this Tina lady and her former husband had been parenting and not letting their children on the internet without their supervision, you could ever blame a suicide on the other crazy lady who harassed the teen. If the computer had been in the living room and the children only allowed to be online with supervision, the attacks would have never happened.
Has Tina realized this? From everything I have seen, she is trying to educate children and young adults. Not adults who are trying to parent. What she needs to do is talk to parents. She needs to own up to her and her ex-husband’s mistakes and try to train PARENTS!
In fact, I do go as far to say that these Meier parents need to be charged with child abuse. I have no qualms with the other lady’s charges. She needs to be charged. But so do the Meier parents. This would have never happened if they had been parenting. Let’s face it. This was an adult to young teen attack. Not a teen to teen initially. This girl even violated myspace rules, lied about her age, and created an account. No liability for myspace. Sorry people.
Call me harsh, but this is the truth. Teen Meier might have still committed suicide. That is a fact. The girl was depressed and on medication. But the fact also is that the parents were not doing their job and being responsible for their child. They let it run wild (albeit on the internet) and that child paid the consequences. Just like a child left alone at a pool could drown. A baby left on its stomach may die of sids, and the list can go on.
Parents. DO YOUR JOB. TAKE THE BLAME FOR NOT DOING IT. Learn about the internet. If you do not know… do not let your child on, especially alone!! Would you let your child take a drug you never heard of because everyone else was doing it? NO! Get real. Parent.
Tags: Tina Meier, parenting, Bullying
June 2, 2008 at 4:35 am
I am deeply saddened and troubled by the inaccurate and hurtful information posted in this blog.
For the past 3 1/2 years, I have championed online safety education and awareness in my local school as well as entire region. As Regional Office of Educations Internet Safety Coordinator, I have taught over 750 children personalized online safety curriculums I personally developed. I have educated many parents and educators. I write a regular newspaper column and have an award-winning educational resource blog for parents and teachers and chair a team of community leaders I assembled to brainstorm said issue. Internet safety is an issue that I am more than passionate about.
Over the past many months, I have had the honor of getting to know Tina Meier, someone who I admire and respect greatly. Your “facts” in this post are incorrect.
First, Megan Meier was supervised while she was online. Megan’s computer was not in her bedroom-it was in an open area of the home.
Secondly, we as parents can NOT watch our children every single moment of every day. We can not. Even if we could watch our children every moment, monitor their every move, filter and log every keystroke, at some point they will leave the house and go to school, to a friend’s house, or elsewhere. Then what? Children MUST be informed and educated as to the possible risks and dangers they may face online so they are prepared and know what to do in case they are faced with an issue or danger.
Tina, a highly sought-after speaker, travels around the country speaking to children AND parents. She was gracious enough to speak at my community-wide event in April in which over 200 parents attended. She is a compelling and brutally honest speaker.
Tina has taken a tragedy that I can not even imagine having to endure, and is going everywhere she can to educate others so that they never have to go through what her family has gone through. It is her mission in life to educate as many people as she can; children of all ages, parents, teachers, law enforcement, and legislators.
While it may be easy for some people to second guess, easily condemn and criticize, Tina Meier is a courageous, intelligent and wonderful person who has gone through a tremendous loss.
Before this case, many people around the world were unaware of electronic bullying. Those who knew of cyberbullying, thought it was either “kids being kids” or no big deal. Because of this disturbing tragedy, the rapidly growing issue of cyberbullying has gotten international recognition People are finally aware of the harm cyberbullying can cause. Sadly, Megan is not the only person who has committed suicide due to electronic bullying.
For those of us who have dedicated our lives to keeping children safer online. we are eternally grateful to Tina.
June 2, 2008 at 4:49 am
Again…
I am still confused.
1). If she was “Mostly” supervised. Her parents allowed her onto online sites she was not old enough to be on. If this was a porn site, no one would be second guessing. If her actions were monitored, they would have seen the comments. Just because it was in the common space, does not mean they are actively monitoring
2). I am not saying it is sad. But you again talk about educating children. My point needs to be EDUCATING ADULTS. If adults know how to use a computer (which almost none do not ~really) then we cut off most of this stuff. Educate children, but you “activists” need to educate parents.
3). I have heard the you can not watch every moment of every day comment about offspring. If you are not willing as “parents” commit to watching children almost every moment of every day, why are you having children?
June 2, 2008 at 5:47 am
Nice try Mel. Give me a break! Parents cannot watch children every moment of everyday. Think back to your childhood. How many things did you do that your parents were unaware of? Parents do work you know, both in and outside of the home. Did your mother watch you as she was taking a bath, doing laundry, mowing the grass, cooking your breakfast? Please. Obviously you have no children. Thank goodness there are people out there such as Jace and Tina who care enough to get the word out. Who do you think watches the television interviews anyway about Internet Safety? It is the parents of course. Childhood Internet safety is the theme, but do you really believe that parents are not included in that? Of course they are. You have some grandiose ideas and thoughts. Hopefully this has helped you to see the light.
June 2, 2008 at 8:35 am
Mel,
As I work with over 500 children per week in a computer lab environment and have two children, I have a very unique perspective most people do not have.
Computer savvy children are able to circumvent many parental controls we use. I have personally witnessed this many times in home settings and at school. I can not tell you how many times I have seen children purposely bypass filters and other controls with me standing right there, knowing full well they were not supposed to do so. Excellent teachers and good parents can not possibly oversee children every single second of every day.
For almost four years, I have educated almost 1000 children on Internet safety. I have educated law enforcement officials. I have educated hundreds of teachers and parents. In order for online safety education to work, children, parents, teachers and law enforcement officials must work together. Online safety is not just the responsibility of parents, it is all our responsibility.
The Meiers did monitor Megan’s computer use. They had open and honest discussions with her. The computer was in an open area of their home and they had rules.
This case is about a grown woman who intentionally and purposely bullied a minor. This case is not about pointing fingers at devastated parents who have lost a child through a senseless tragedy.
Today, Tina travels around the country educating people of all ages to prevent this very thing from happening to another family.
These types of comments are not only baseless, they are untrue and hurtful.
June 2, 2008 at 11:24 am
I need to weigh in and agree with my friend and colleague, Jace. I have also conducted cyberbullying training for hundreds of kids (and a number of adult educators as well) and, while it might comfort adults to feel that they can simply tell kids not to go online, or to circumscribe where they go, the fact is that the kids will still go there. It’s better to have some supervision than none, and none is what you will get if you try to cut them off.
Nancy Willard of the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use recently told me of a presentation she made a few months ago. She was on the agenda immediately after an Internet safety expert whose presentation included showing certain websites to his audience of adult educators. Unfortunately, he had to access the Internet through the school’s connection and the sites were blocked. The adults didn’t know what to do, so he asked for student help. A high school sophomore unblocked all of the sites in a matter of seconds.
When I was conducting training in a rural California town recently, I passed out a great document, a “Parent-Child Internet Use Agreement” designed by Dr. Sameer Hinduja of Florida Atlantic University. (You can download it for free at http://uacoe.arizona.edu/wren/cyberbullying_internet_use_contract.pdf.) The kids I passed it to you — middle school students — threw them away. They had no intention of discussing their online activity with their parents. All the kids are online and I’m sure their parents have no clue about the extent of the online activity. This is pretty common.
So, lay off Tina Meier, and let her teach from her own sad experience. All of us who are parents make mistakes from time to time and we know that a single mistake can have tragic consequences. That’s part of the price of parenthood. Tina Meier and John Halligan paid the highest and most awful price, and they were very good parents. They have suffered enough and there’s no need to inflame their suffering with unfounded, unkind, baseless and ignorant comments from an unqualified source.
Mike Tully
Tucson AZ
June 2, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I too am amazed and very concerned at the insensitive and ridiculous remarks made by blogger Mel. To imply that a parent should watch a child 24/7 is beyond stupid. It simply cannot be done. Children need to learn and grow both physically and independantly. This means parents guide, support, and love their children, however, they should not hover over them. We want children to become self-sufficient adults eventually. If we are to watch their every move from birth through adolescence they would be warped children. Typically, I am not mean spirited, but I must say that the logo posted identifying Mel says it all.
June 2, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Hmmmmm. My parents did a pretty good job of watching me 24/7 (or having very trusted adults). Granted I had a very different childhood because I was a competitive figure skater, but in high school I did band trips, ROTC trips out of state, and other school activities. They taught me to be moral, ethical, and a productive citizen. I have a master’s degree, an educator, and a reverend. I do not think I am warped.
Funny you mention my log. Elephants and Bats are my favorite animals. Purple and Green are my favorite colors. The elephant is a curling broom. Maybe you could tell me what is wrong with my logo and tattoo? I am confused? I designed it.
Or are you just being bigoted because I disagree with your parenting styles?
June 7, 2008 at 12:59 am
I 100% agree with Jace Galloway–the first commentator. Just because ‘Mel’ has issues with reality and is calling Megan ‘mentally deranged’ and possibly has the hots for Lori Drew…omg, maybe it IS her.
I am out of here. Evil Pest!
You should be ashamed and I hope and pray, I beg the universe to get this old ugly witch locked up for 20 FULL YEARS, and give her 10 years extra, because this sadistic monster went to Megan’s funeral and possibly got off on it.
I hope she will be sentenced and I do hope that she hates lesbians. Because she most likely will be raped by a beer bottle–and I do hope that it is a cheap brand.
June 7, 2008 at 8:23 am
Wow! You are a sick person. I think maybe you are a fake of some sort, but I am leaving this comment because of people in the world that have to take things to a level that is disgusting, abusive, and immoral. These is similar to some of the emails I have received. No analysis of the situation… Just trying to attack me because I presented an idea.
I believe you are wanting torture of the lady who was an impostor and pretended to be a young man on myspace.
Do not put words into my mouth. I have never said anything against what the authorities are doing with this sick and twisted person. She is not innocent in this situation one lick bit, but I tried to do with my blogs is show there were also other negligent parties. The authorities are dealing with this other lady. No one questioned the parents of their actions or lack there of. That was my comment on the issue.
June 9, 2008 at 11:50 am
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