In Sickness and in Health

I have a student who is killing himself. He has thyroid problems, gets high temps, and maybe gets 1-3 hours of sleep because he wants to get into MIT and has 4 AP classes, and 2 honors classes.  Here is an edited blog post from my old blog. It gets to the point:

It used to be when you were sick, people used to care.

“Hey do you need anything?”

“Do you need a ride to the doctor?”

“Can I offer you some chicken soup?”

This is never asked anymore. It seems that the current mentality is that people think you have allergies and when you do not, they cross their pointer fingers and say, “Back Back! Do not get me sick!”

Yes! That is just what I was about to do… Jump on your back and lick your face. Normally I am of the mind set that people should stay away when they are sick. Take sick leave. Do not go to your sports or hobbies. But that does not work in American society.

First, A lot of people do not have sick leave. Since there is no middle class anymore, they are part of the working class and working poor. I remember those days. Secondly, there are just jobs that you can not sometimes take a sick day. Doctors, Teachers, Lawyers… these jobs all have their problems that come with trying to take days off. If I am going to drive into work to get substitute plans together, why don’t I just stay. And do not call me a bad teacher! Anyone experienced has all their files in their file folders and they know where their stuff is. It is just a matter of how to get a sub to find that. They can’t and won’t.

Sports. That is always a hot bed of contention. As a figure skater… you practiced even on your death bed. It built endurance and character. And if that was not convincing enough for your parents, these responses would convince them:

“In the Olympics, an athlete has to compete without any medications because of doping rules.”

“Any time off will make the muscles loose strength and then he/she will not be able to jump as high or have as much control over his/her figures.”

[mostly for girls] “Any time off means weight gain and no one wants to see a fat figure skater!”

Now, the same is not necessarily true for many sports, but when you have spent over 10 years competitive in one that is like that, it is hard to let up with your newer sport. So while I was on the mend yesterday, I had to play league last night. Besides, I am competing this weekend and I am the most experienced on my team. I needed the practice! Such is the life of an old school, has been figure skater!

polygamists and people’s Fascination with Other’s Pain

Every year I read Amy Tan’s novel The Joy Luck Club. It is part of my work’s Honors American Literature program. One of the chapters in the 3rd book is called “Magpies” Basically, when a person cried into this lake, a frog ate the tears and it laid eggs that eventually turned into this happy bird called the magpie. It is an analogy for people feeding off of other’s tears and sorrow to create their happiness.

This whole media coverage of the Polygamist cult that was raided in Texas reminds me of the magpie story. Even NPR is covering the story. Friends I know who still have TV tell me it is all the rage on the fake news stations. Why do we need to get happiness from other’s sorrows?

Let me make this real clear. I do not agree with under aged children being married off, raped, and having 3 kids by the time she is 16. But in the end, as much as I hate oppressive religions that brain wash people, who cares what others do and believe as long as they do not hurt you or innocents? Really, except for the sexual abuse for the children, do we really care what this cult does? They do not want the attention and what to stay isolated by themselves. Is it necessary to flaunt what most people would call weird practices? I even saw an article today that talked about Moron fashion and where this cult’s clothing style came from.

This is a lasting effect of the Puritans. These people of yesteryears got all up into peoples business. People are naturally curious, so when this is promoted in the most hurtful sense and given credence, others will follow. And boy does the USA do this now. All people care about is that you are like them. Crazy Christians of all sects, Muslins, Jews, Islamics, ect. They all think their way is the right way and everyone else is going to “hell”.

Who cares? If you do not believe in abortion… great… do not get one. Do not worry about others If you believe in monogamous relationships… great do that. Only worry about finding a mate that agrees with you. Hate pornography. Do not look at it. Let other’s choose what they want to view. Abstinence only? Only if you actually did that and keep it to yourself. And the list goes on. It is not anyone’s duty to pick on other people.

I see so many people who are out to hate others. It is quite scary. They put people down and then bask in the false happiness they think they are experiencing. The hallways of a high school shows this. It is a magnified version of society. The niceties are not required yet.

So as more and more is said about they polygamists. As their lived are looked on with a magnified glass, I hope you are feeling happy. Does it give you pleasure to know you are not that “weird”. Giggle that you are not that crazy? Be careful what you wish for. Karma is not all happy happy joy joy all the time. You might find yourself looking in the mirror (or the TV for that matter) and looking at yourself.

Its not Global Warming Damit… It is Climate Change!!!

Lately In the Seattle area, we have had some very weird weather. We were finally on an upward trend to getting in the low 50’s. Then one day we topped 78 degrees. Everyone thought spring was finally here and some nicer weather. Hey… 65 is grand in Seattle.

But now we have had a week of bone chilling cold for Seattle (low 30’s), snow, and ice pellets. The latest snow ever in Seattle had been April 16. Well, we have had snow (even in Ballard) on the 18th, 19th, and 20th. It has been crazy. This morning was snowing quite heavily, but this afternoon we actually have the sun out and it is warming.

But this weather has brought out all the yahoos who think there is no such thing as “global warming.” So let me enlighten you. I think a better statement on the man made effects of the weather and climate should be called Human Caused Climate Change. The difference between natural climate change and human caused climate change is how we have perverted the natural resources of the world to effect the environment. We have refined and consumed so much that things are happening quite rapidly. Usually climate change happens over very very long periods of time that we would barely notice it. Now we are noticing it.

When we talk about global warming, there is an inference that the whole world will just warm up and all the ice will melt. That is not the implication of global warming and is why climate change needs to be used instead. There will be some areas of the world that will get colder and have different climate other than hot. Places like Seattle or other temperate regions could have extreme temps instead of mild summers and mild winters. I do not know all the specifics. I am not a scientist, but I do read stuff about it.

People who want to say, “ha. I told you humans are not doing anything to the earth”, are just plain selfish. I could use many other terms that I have seen other people use, but in the end, these people care about themselves and that is it. They have no respect for the past, present, or future. And they are the first ones to sue or claim for damages it their homes are hit by hurricanes or flooded out by a river. It is quite funny in a non ha ha kinda way.

Climate change is here people. Actually, it has been here since probably the 1960’s or 70’s. That is when the consumption and pollution seemed to hit extreme levels. There is more than one way this can all be changed. But without cooperation for the Oligarchy state of China and the pseudo democratic country of Russia, and all the 3rd world countries playing a part, we are just all fooling ourselves.

When is it Stupidity or When is it Blatant Sterotyping and Bigotry!?

I have had a rough time this week. Lots of work… proctoring the state test, my own professional certification assignments, and just trying to teach a bunch of people after they have spent 2 to 2 1/2 hours testing.

So when I got home last night, I wanted to sit back and relax for an hour or so before I had to go try at teach a bunch of people how to curl who have never done so. Let me tell you… the task is worse than trying to teach toddlers (ages 2-5) how to figure skate.

I sit back in one of my replica 1926 Bauhaus chairs and open a curling newsletter. The main jist of this printed publication was to announce a who had won the league’s in this club for this year. But one league was mysteriously missing. Every other league was mentioned; even the Thursday afternoon league which has only enough players to play one game and they keep score by a weird points system for each individual. They mentioned “results” for a novice league which is pathetic and teaches new people how to behave badly. But no results at all for their women’s league. Interesting to say the least.

Now if you do not know… curling has this huge undercurrent of bigots who refuse to believe that when women play it is actually real curling. Women can not play the game is the common assumption. This is like saying that women’s basketball is not real basketball. It is sexist, and discriminatory to say the least. But the people who are the most vocal about this are loud mouth jerks and for some reason able to get away with this bigoted banter.

Now it is unclear at the moment who dropped the ball. It would seem the board member who is in charge of the leagues would not have let this publication go to print without this info. Even the printing person is a club member and should not have let it go out to print. And even if it had gone that far, it should not have been allowed to go to print by the club’s women president who also participated in the women’s league this year.

I can confidently say that this was not an actual conscious decision to leave out mention of a women’s league. It is not like this is a clan like group of people out to get women. But I do wonder if this is more than just stupidity on 4 peoples part. Is there some kind of ingrained sense that women are lesser and it just did not matter. In this case, I truly hope it is a matter of these people being retarded. Yes… I to mean retarded. Mentally deficient. For truly only someone who was not at total brain capacity would make an error so grievous.

But this is a matter that happens all the time. When is it that people are acting stupid and not being conscientious or when is it that is a matter of being discriminatory? It is hard to discern because there are people of all types. Many of us have such ingrained stereotypes, I would also argue bigotry, that we are afraid to be actually believe it.

“Alright”, you might agree, but then someone could also spat back at me that I have an invested interest and pride level because I was on the team that won the women’s league this year. In all matter of sense, this will never ever matter. I am not stupid enough to not realize this. In the drop of a bucket, high school sports is more meaningful than this league. Probably even bowling leagues are more important. But my issue comes from somewhere not personally invested.

There has been someone who has been doing a very good, but difficult job of trying to get women on the competitive track back in Seattle. She has organized meetings, put up with my negativity, and is having to deal with first and second year curlers who think they can win a trip to the Olympics next year. My negativity has come from being a realistic and knowing that given 3 years, these women do not have what it takes to be serious competitive people. Call me arrogant, but I have seen competitive people intimately in 2 sports now and know the drive and type of person it takes to reach truly competitive levels. These women do not have it. While I would love to be competitive, I will not join a team that has people who are lesser skill then me. Actually I prefer to be the less skilled one and have 3 other people who are better than me. Call me stubborn, but you have not been dropped by your male ice dancing partner (many times). I have earned the right to be choosy in what I do. My happiness does not depend anymore on winning a gold medal. A wish and a hope yes, but not the desires of my existence anymore.

But I tangent. The lack of respect to this person is grossly irresponsible. It is rude to say the least. So it is a good lesson today. As you are planning, talking, thinking, what are you doing? Are you falling into old ways and stereotyping people? Are you thinking about others and other’s feelings? Are you being a bigot? And even worse, extremely stupid? Your actions and non actions can hurt others, even when you do not know them. Think before you speak or act. It was one of the greatest lessons I should have taken from the Little House on the Prairie books. But it only took one hard lesson to remember that and follow it the best I could.

Reservation Made…. Now Wait a year, close to two!?

Well I did it. I put my $99 down and am in the process of reserving a Smart Car. Did you know that Smart stands for Swatch and Mercedes Art? I think that is pretty cool. But here is the problem. I will probably not get my Smart Car for at least a year. Maybe a year and a half. Maybe more. That is what the dealer told me on Saturday. They have just been so swamped with orders that it is taking that long.

I am hoping a couple things happen. First, I am hoping that maybe that is an exaggeration to just prepare people and to maybe get them to do the reservation faster. But I know it took my friend William a year to get his hybrid car. So maybe not. Or… people who reserved the same car with extras will not want their car anymore and I will move up on the list. Let us hope! So until then, I will cross my fingers that my car will continue to run without expensive fixes and little by little start to clean out my trunk!

To Car or Not to Car: That is the Qustion

I have always loved smart cars. I was really excited to see them come to the states. I thought in 5 or so years, maybe I would get one. Then my car started to break down. I went through 3 starters in 3 years (I did not pay for one of them). But before the 3rd starter, my alternator went out. Then just yesterday, my ignition started failing. It has really started to add up. But I paid my last car loan payment in December. I own my car free and clear now.

And while owning my car is really nice, there are a couple of other problems. First, gas is expensive. A Nissan Maxima gets pretty decent gas millage, but not when you are traveling 60 plus miles a day. Parking. I do not have a parking spot at my apartment and have to find street parking on Capitol Hill. It has not ever been so bad, but I am worried with all the new construction, it is going to really start to suck.

The smart car is quite reasonably priced. With a trade in with my car, I will only have to pay about $14000. And that is with leather seats, and such, and the middle range car. I do not want the top of the line because it is not a hard top convertible, but a soft top. Seems like it is cut and dry. Wait till summer and get a new car. Have some car payments again.

Not so easy. There is a year and a half wait for these cars. You have to pay a $99 reservation fee to get one. So… what happens if my car does not last that long? I have 150000 miles on my car now. What if I have to get a ton of work done to keep it running and then trade it in? So many questions and no clear answers.

I am having dim sum and then going good will shopping with my former teaching partner/mentor tomorrow. She may be able to help clear this stuff up. But it is amazing how much this can stress a person out. It would be so much easier if I could get my new car in a couple months and let that be that.

If worse comes to worse, I can just hold onto my car. The price should come down and a couple years. Or I will earn more… Or maybe I will find a nice rich guy to marry me and he will take care of all that. Yeah right!

When it Rains, it Pours: The Wedding Season

Well it is that time again… When everybody and everybody’s brother is getting married… or at least hooked up in some capacity or another. That is everyone but me. Funny how that goes. Just this month is the first of 4 weddings I could potentially attend. The next is in July, but with getting my professional certificate and lack money, I do not think I can get to California. It is a shame because it is my brother’s wedding. But he already has a kid with the girl and I have met her. She seems really nice.

Then I have 2 teacher friends in August and 2 friends I cherish very much 2 weeks later. I almost had to laugh out loud last night when waiting to have one last fare well happy hour at the De Lux for our friend Shailesh. Stupid Paul had the nerve to ask me what I would do now that curling season had ended. That is always the case for me. Unless spouses are out of town, or people are with out a boyfriend or girlfriend, there is rarely a case for me to be around.

While some people are brides, others bridesmaids, I am the rent a friend. The goofy, laughable person that will always be there when someone is needed. I am a great planner and organizer and can make sure it is a good party. Heck, when I was in Mission, BC the other weekend there was an acquaintance from Oregon who commented, “Oh you are here! Well then we know it will be a party!”

Not that I am the most outgoing of types. I tend to stand back and when I have figured everyone else out, then I jump onto the scene. But that makes people feel important. They feel like they can trust you. The silent type that opens up. That is me.

About every 5 years is when we see a wedding season. Younger folk who are foolish get married at about 22. The people in their mid twenties to early 30’s start to hitch up. And eventually if you lose friendships with the young folk, there becomes the baby seasons. And then the death seasons after that. Joyful and sorrowful events in most peoples lives.

I think I have come to terms that I will never have one of these seasons. Not that I necessarily have to like it. I feel a little bi-polar on the subject. There are times when I feel extremely lonely and would like to have that companion to talk to. I can go for days in the summer time and not have one meaningful conversation. Most people do not think about those kind of things until they are alone. But… most of the time, I really enjoy my freedom and individuality. I do what I want, when I want to. I have to answer to no one or check in on anyone. but then… even that freedom can be a curse. What happens if I become ill? My car breaks down? I in general need some help. I have no one. I have to depend on people who say they are my friends, but I have seen what has happened before.

Many people laugh at my proclamation that this is as good as it will get for me. They say I am so young and I have tons of time. This may be so, but sometimes it is intuition. I feel it in my bones. It has even been stated to me. How can I forget the words about a year and a half ago, “You are my best friend. There is a part of me that loves you immensely. But you are not like other girls. I would always be looking for someone else.” And that is it in a nutshell. I am not like other girls. I do not act like them, I do not feel or think like them. Guys love this at first, but they have all been socialized to love the bitch. Love the insane illogical girl. Whether they will admit it or not. And when they realize that I do not fit that mold. Any physical attraction they might have felt, melts away. And because these men can not deal with me being just “one of the guys” like they did at first, they cut and run. I can not blame. them. It is the nature of humans.

If there is one thing I can thank figure skating for, it is the ability to hide your feelings. No matter how awful I feel, you will still see the smile. I can still get that sparkle in my eye. I just treat the world like the judges. There is an image that must be maintained. And boy you will get that from me. Why make people feel down or sorry for me? It does no good. I will ever be the gracious, happy go lucky gal that everyone has come to know. And generally that is the case. But sometimes, when a season comes I know I can only experience from the outside, a wondering of “what might have been” can linger on my mind. Only for a second though. If Jane Austen could live a satisfied life, so can I.

I raise my glass in a toast for the happiness of my friends and family that will occur in the coming months. Prost.

Can a Book Actually be at My Finger Tips? How I Learned to Read Again!

I know it has been awhile, but I have been curling…. a ton.

This was the story of my college career. Both my undergraduate and graduate programs. Work full time and also go to school full time. I did have a ROTC scholarship at one point early in college, but it is a long story. Basically, because of sexism, sexual harassment, and jerk instructors, I left. There was no way I was going to sleep with someone to get some where.

So I had to work. Due to our lovely President and the Dot.com bust, I did not even have enough student loan money to cover the tuition for my graduate school. Yeah credit cards. So for almost 2 years after my college career, I had to work 2 full time jobs.

Even before I started to look like death warmed over, I had lost the passion to read. The desire to pick up a book and read it was not there. Even if I got so far as to open the first couple of pages, I got fidgety and felt very ADD like. This confession is like blasphemy in the English, Political Science, History, and teaching realms. But it was the way I felt.

I am not sure if it came from all the stuff I had to read in college. Political Science, English, and History is not what you would call light on reading. My time was so stretched I would get all the books before the quarter started and I would read them through quickly so could do a second quick read through during the quarter. I never had the time to do one in depth reading. I was going to school and working too much.

Or it could have been the exhaustion of just working to much. It was not to say I was not doing any reading. My teaching job had me reading at least 12 novels a year and tons of short stories and poems in between. But that is the same stuff over and over again.

And then something clicked last summer. Late last summer, I decided to read The Poison Wood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver (her birthday was yesterday). It was in our honors curriculum and I was going to push my students to read it for outside reading. I thought I had better read it. The same day I finished that, I picked up Kite Runner. And the rest is history. All this school year I have read anywhere from 10 minutes to 3 hours before I go to bed. I have gotten back into the trashy romance novels I used to love as a teen. I can’t get enough. It is such a good feeling.

Any good author will tell you that if you want to write something and get it published, the first thing you need to do is read and write. Read as much as you can. This helps get the creative juices flowing. And lets face it, the more you write, the better writer you become. Hence this blog. I have always wanted to write a book. I have ideas floating around in my mind, and I love to tell verbal stories, but I could never really think of anything concrete. Last summer, I even started to write some poetry. I was really desperate to try and get anything substantial down.

This morning as I was laying in bed (cursing I was up so early when I did not have to be because I am on spring break), I think I have created a foundation for my book. I even sat down before this blog and started to sketch things out. I can not just sit and write, I need to have some framework and go from there. I think this could actually be something people would want to read. I think I can put things together that make sense. We will just have to see. I can not help but wonder if this break in ideas, form, and creation could not have been from my reading.

It’s About People Darn it ~ Or How My Easter Weekend Ruled!

I am a bit late on this post, but work has been crazy!

After another religious holiday weekend, I have come to a couple conclusions. First, if you are not religious or Christian and live in the states (or another mainly Christian country, take advantage of these holidays. Meaning…. if you are a teacher and only do a little grading, people forgive you because they were doing asinine stuff.

Second, I have more proof that religion is just an excuse for what humans really need… loving each other. And no… I am not talking dirty. Get your mind out of the gutter!

My fun actually started on Saturday. I got to sleep in a little and then met up with my good friend Alyssa and we had to do the dreadful… Shopping. And i do not mean good shopping like, “let’s go to the thrift store and see if we can find anything.” I mean the, “Oh boy! We have a costume party in 2 weeks, are in Canada curling next weekend, as we have to find Mel a costume…. Now!

We had figured out weeks ago that I was going to go to this circus costume party as a sexy magician. Good idea right!? No frumpyness for me. Well we have come to find out that there are no good magician costumes or stuff. We were really having to piecemeal stuff together. And did you also know that those men’s dress shirts with the ruffles in the front are not really made anymore and that is why we could not find one. Well we did… at a costume tux rental shop on Capitol Hill.

But that is the painful part of the story. Really my day was fun. We started out eating Dim Sum in the International District. Then we went to the monstrous Good Will and found a skirt for me and books. Went to Champions and found some ribbon for a raffle we are running. Then went through a Condo open house near by. Went to my place to freshen up. Walked back downtown to the Magic Store in Pike Place to get some tricks, but really that store is just a gag shop now with a few really expensive magic things (i.e. a $90 magic wand). Went to Gelato, walked back to my place and had a beer, then went to John and Ying’s stag and doe party (which if you do not know is like a pre-wedding party.

The next day, Alyssa and I went to yoga and then the Ballard Market (per usual). I then met up with my old roommates (Jo and Randall) and Jo’s parents and brothers at Rock Salt for Brunch. We then went to Jo’s parents boat and hung out and did an Easter Egg hunt for their 1 1/2 year old son Andrea. Jo is going to have a baby girl in September. I went home, rested and curled as a sub with my friend Shane and Amy. Phew.

While to most people this sounds busy, and exhausting, it is the most fun I have had in awhile. Just being with people and having fun and playing games was awesome. Feeling like you belong I think is something that all humans need. We are usocial for goodness sakes. One of the most horrible situations a person can be in is to feel like they do not belong. This is done very intentionally by many people. They feed off of other’s people sorrow to be happy. Very unhealthy on both cases. But none of that happened this weekend. There was just laughter, goofiness, and comradeship.

All of this without much talk of Easter anyway. It was awesome. So rarely do I really feel like I belong. And not that I feel that people are trying to make me sorrowful and then become happy off of this. But I feel so goofy and out of place in most circumstances because of my up bringing and not associating with my family anymore. I cherish the times when I feel like everything is balanced in the world for me.

Are you a Shower or a Grower!?

I was listening to the Men’s Room on 99.9 KISW the other day. They has a topic all about what you did not know about the penis. For example… did you know you can actually break your penis? Now I probably could never fathom what that would feel like (lacking a penis and all), but it sounds painful.

What I was particularly interested in was the part about whether a dude was a shower or a grower. Basically, a penis will either just get hard when aroused (the showing aspect) or a penis will grow (what we usually are used to). They were laughing and feeling sorry for the dudes that basically were all about the show and had no grow. I guess that is where the term “it is not how big it is, it is how you use it!” Ha. Lame excuse for someone who feels bad.

And while we can all laugh and giggle about this, I began to think that is analogy can be used in general terms with people. First, it is easy to think that showing is not as good as growing, but not necessarily the case. I will analyze the differences between people who are showers and people who are growers.

Show(ers) I hate how it looks like a wedding shower. First, these people are not necessarily ambitious in many aspects of their lives, but at times like to be the center of attention in small ways. Do the behind the scenes work and get credit or not later. They are happy with showing what they can do, but not make a scene about it. They get things done. As a flip side negative, these people can seem like slack dogs, lazy, and just kinda going through life. People wonder why they do not want more from life.

Growers are those obnoxious A type personalities. I am going to start with the negative types. They are pushing, want to be the center of attention in the most outgoing way possible. They can go on power trips when they are in charge or get some kind of power and usually it is so little power that you want to slap them. The positive type people are the movers and thinkers of the world. They are analytical, decisive, and are great leaders. In a sense… they “rise to the occasion!” ~ No pun intended!

Food for thought… Are you a show(er) or a grower!?